My maternal grandparents split their time between their summer home about 2 hours away from our family farm, and their winter home about 8 hours to the south, but we still did gather together every summer to visit and eat and catch up on all of the happenings with each individual family. We sometimes would take our vacations to the cities where my uncles lived and spend time with cousins there. And of course there were also Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations with different families each year.
My cousins were probably my best friends outside of my siblings during my childhood, but as time moved me into my high school years, the dynamics changed quite a bit. As one of the youngest of the children on both sides of the family, by the time I was a teenager, my grandparents were facing health struggles, many of the older cousins were married and starting families of their own, and we younger cousins were busy with extracurricular activities and jobs and school. My Aunts still visited often, especially as my grandparents needed more help, but the frequent visits and long summer days spent playing with cousins pretty much ended. Instead there were many weddings, graduations, missionary farewells and welcome homes (in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, it is traditional for young men and many of the young women to serve an 18 to 24 month service and teaching mission between graduating from high school and getting married). And, as happens in all families, there were also funerals.
My first experience with having a close family member pass away was when I was in sixth grade, and my cousin and his newly wed wife were killed in a car accident while they were on the way for his weekend duty in the air force reserves. It was a shock for the entire extended family, as he was a much loved cousin and one of the first to marry. Without the faith in the resurrection of Jesus Christ and his gift of salvation and eternal life for all men and women, I'm sure our grief would have been even greater.
My paternal grandmother was the first of my grandparents to pass away, the day after my 12th birthday. She had fallen and broken her hip or leg, and had spent some time in the hospital and was doing well, but then developed pneumonia, had a stroke, and passed on a few days later. My grandfather continued to live alone in the house next door for the next four years. He would come for Sunday dinner, and my Mom would send him home with a homemade TV Dinner of leftovers to heat up later during the week. Daddy would of course check in with him every day, and my Aunts were frequent visitors to check in on him and help out with the seasonal cleaning. One of them was visiting on the day he passed away. He had gone to lie down for a nap on the living room couch where he had a heart attack and was quickly gone.
My maternal grandmother passed away a few months before my father's father. She had been diagnosed with diabetes and had been failing in health for quite some time. So I lost three of my grandparents within about four years of each other during my early to mid teenaged years. My grandfather lived for another 18 years, remarried an old friend, and outlived her by quite a few years. He passed away when I was a young mother living on the other side of the country and I was unable to attend his funeral, which was one of the hardest times for me during those years.
Though death is a hard thing, I believe it is not the end, and that our family relationships can be eternal and ever lasting. Though I don't see my extended family nearly as much as I did when I was young, I still stay in touch with most of my cousins and my one remaining aunt through social media, and the occasional family reunion or funeral or other event. I'm too tired right now to count, but my extended family now numbers in the hundreds with all of the children, spouses, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and even great-great grandchildren of my seven aunts and two uncles. A grand posterity for both sides of my beloved family tree!
What memories do you have of your extended family?
No comments:
Post a Comment