During April 2016 I will be blogging about Childhood Memories from A to Z . These challenge posts will also be found at Random Thoughts and Tender Mercies http://marcysrandomthoughts.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Rachel's Campaign Challenge

 
For those who are unaware, the challenge is:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.

  
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)  
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!
And here is my entry at 200 words exactly:


          Shadows crept across the wall. I could no longer sleep. Exhausted, I had fallen asleep the second my head hit the pillow last night. Then I dreamed . . .  
          Dark mists swirled around me. I ran, calling out, searching frantically for my mother. Stumbling as I went, I narrowly avoided colliding with shadowy figures, some wandering aimlessly, others desperately searching as I am.  
          “Mom!” 
          She turned and saw me across the dark abyss. She reached out to me, and an unknown force pulled us apart.  
          I awoke abruptly. I was alone. Reality returned. My mother is dead.  
          Long dark hours pass as I lie awake. Finally the darkness fades. 
          Slipping out of bed, my feet pad across the cool wooden floor. I quietly lift the blinds and watch rosy orange light creep up the horizon of the fading darkness. The black night is over. A sliver of hope embeds itself in my heart. Maybe, just maybe, life will be ok.  
          A heavy tiredness engulfs my body. Noiselessly I slip across the room and back into bed. Curling up under my comforter, I close my eyes and will sleep to come again. Breathing deeply, my body relaxes, and everything fades.


This is entry number 122 on Rachel's Linky.  

21 comments:

  1. I loved your story. I love dark imagery and themes, and liked how darkness turned into light at the end.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with Carrie-Anne. You had such good themes of dark and light and I loved how they seemed to switch at the end. I loved the line, "She turned and saw me across the dark abyss. She reached out to me, and an unknown force pulled us apart." And I LOVED the fact that when she awoke, the dark abyss represented death. Great job!

    I'm entry #19

    ReplyDelete
  3. Agree with what's already been said. This was a lovely, haunting piece!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow! This reminds me of a dream I had just before I found out my own mom had passed away. Very poignant. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's one tripped out dream. Nice one! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow, very intense! Well done! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. This was intense! And I loved your imagery! Nice job! :)

    I'm #37

    ReplyDelete
  9. Great imagery and use of contrast. Voting for you :-) I'm #61.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Whoah! Lovely imagery. Really enjoyed reading this.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Very moving, great response to the challenge!

    ReplyDelete
  12. The imagery of the dream sequence was well done. A good response to the challenge in that the whole story was a shadow in itself.
    Some problems with tense.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Very touching and sad story. I'm glad that she found some hope when she woke up.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You've been tagged. I couldn't connect with the comments on the last blogger account. I'll try though. here goes.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Since it took my comment I'll leave a thought about the story.

    Good imagery with the contrasting themes of light and dark. The grief was well expressed, too. Waking up in the middle of the night after a dream is common after a loved one dies and so is hoping the day will be OK. Well expressed. Good job. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. My Mom passed away 3 months short of her 100th BD. Yes, when a loved one leaves this earth, it's natural to have dreams about them. But, it doesn't need to be the end of the world...I love how you gave us hope at the end. Good job, Marcy...I 'liked' you! I'm stopping by from campaign group #1...if you have the chance, take a peek at my contribution: #174 'The Climb'

    ReplyDelete
  17. Lovely story, touching and sad!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thank you all for your comments. I really enjoyed writing this one. It was one of those pieces that just seems to already be there!

    @ clarbojahn, Thanks for tagging me! Unfortunately, I can't seem to find your blog, so haven't found your questions. Can you give me the address of your blog?

    ReplyDelete