During April 2016 I will be blogging about Childhood Memories from A to Z . These challenge posts will also be found at Random Thoughts and Tender Mercies http://marcysrandomthoughts.blogspot.com/

Friday, March 9, 2012

Rachel's Challenge: Heritage

Here is my entry for Rachel Harrie's latest Campaign Challenge.  I have chosen to take on  the 2nd part of this challenge, Write a short story/flash fiction piece of less than 200 words based on the five prompts given.  You can find the prompts in this challenge found on her blog.

The title and theme of my entry is Heritage.  Please feel free to comment and critique my writing!  This is entry number 92 in in Rachel's Linky


Heritage

We walked briskly past the boy kicking his futbol down the dusty road.



“Mom, this has been the best week ever!”


I had never traveled outside the United States, nor had I known my Colombian grandparents. Everything was new to me.


“I want you to know your heritage; where I come from.”


Our reward was the amazing view of the Boccas de Ceniza Delta where the muddy waters of the Magdalena River meet the crystalline blue Caribbean.


Later we trekked back along the dusty trail. Rivulets of sweat ran down my back. I stumbled as swirling light blurred my vision.


“Alicia, are you all right?”


Water gushed from her bottle onto my head, wetting my hair and dripping down my face. She guided me to the shade of an old bridge. I leaned back against the rough cement, resting my head on my knees until the flashing light subsided. I saw the rough red scrape on my Mother’s leg, her souvenir from yesterday’s surfing of the blue Caribbean waves. I lifted my head, watching raggedy children sift through a refuge heap. Mom followed my gaze to the rickety wooden huts beyond.


“Mi hita, this is where I come from.”




Translations:

Futbol--Soccer ball
Boocas de Ceniza--Mouth of Ashes
Mi Hita--my daughter

I am entry number 92 in Rachel's linky.

10 comments:

  1. Great entry. Beautiful imagery and attention to details. You might consider using some dialogue tags, though, as I needed to back track a couple times to figure out who was speaking. Well done!

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  2. Touching...and a really different take on the prompts. (#30)

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  3. Very nice. Different. Just "liked" it.

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  4. Very nice! I liked the mother - child relationship shown in the dialogue!

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  5. I too like your use of the prompts. It's different and refreshing and I enjoyed reading it. Nice job!

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  6. I like this unique and realistic interpretation of the challenge prompts...my family and I were in Bogota, Colombia in January! I'll give you a "Like". If you are interested, I am #70, and am also in your campaign group. See you around!

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  7. Hi Marcy, just to let you know you'v been shortlisted as one of the top five to move on to Stage Two. (The semi-finals will be Stage Three and the finals will be Stage Four.) Congratulations :-)

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  8. Thank you all for your thoughts and comments! And Thank you Susan for the exciting news about moving on to Stage two!

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  9. Nicely done. You are moving on to the semi-finals! Congrats.

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