On Monday I accepted Rachael Harrie's Flash Fiction Challenge to write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem - but the kicker is, the story must begin with the words, “The door swung open” (these four words will be included in the word count). And for an added challenge (optional), the writer can use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count). For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY! Entries in the First Campaigner Challenge will close on Friday, September 9th (at 11.59pm EDT). Here is my entry:
Compassion
(Entry number 311)
The door swung open. Watching the rosy dawn over the distant dark mountains, I leaned against the door frame, took a sip from my cup, and pondered the hours ahead. I was free from obligations, and the possibilities crowded my mind.
The mountains beckoned; my favorite trail led to an enchanting water fall. My gaze rested on the ragged nails clinging to the cup, reminding me I was way over-due for a manicure and a haircut. Several new books were being held at the local library, ready to join the tall stack next to my bed. Laundry? Cleaning? Groceries?
The nearby school welcomed me as often as my time permitted me to visit and listen to youngsters practice their newly learned reading skills. My aging grandparents lived not far away. I saw them often, but I knew that aches and pains limited their choices, and that for them the hours often dragged. Next door was a mother with two young children, no car, and limited resources. Another friend, recently widowed was alone in a care center recovering from surgery.
The sun burst over the mountain in all her glory. I carefully set down my cup, and the door swung shut.
Awesome imagery, Marcy. Your character is a busy person, but able to give us the details.
ReplyDeleteExcellent work! :)
I liked this, maybe because I feel her need to be still and know before jumping into the fray. I wanted to hang out with the door open and the mind quiet for just a few more moments, though.
ReplyDeleteSome lovely vivid imagery. And I couldn't help but laugh and wince in sympathy as her peaceful thoughts were eventually crowded with all the things she "ought" to be doing.
ReplyDeleteLovely Marcy. I liked how you got stresses of her life across as she attempted to take a break. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteSo much learned in so few words. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this woman! Great job, Marcy! :)
ReplyDeleteThis character is very observant. Nice job. Mine is #72
ReplyDeleteGosh I can relate to this character at the moment with so many new blogs to read and things to do! Wonderful imagery - I was there with her. Thanks for commenting on my entry (#347).
ReplyDeleteThere are just some days like that. I feel like I'm meeting her for coffee, a dear friend with a lot on her mind. Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteAh yes what to do with 'free' time. There is never a good answer.
ReplyDeleteThe imagery is lovely! If only she could do what she wants instead of what she feels she needs to do
ReplyDeleteum, I can't seem to comment with my wordpress account, so I need to do it with my Google account. But if you want to find me, I'm at storytreasury.wordpress.com
My goodness! So many possibilities and choices! I'd need much more than the few moments she took with her cup of coffee. ;)Nicely done! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat story. I think so many of us can relate to her dilemma - being pulled in so many different directions by things we want to do and people we want to take care of.
ReplyDelete